Last one

Less than one week to go until Berlin marathon now. Eeek.

Things have been less than ideal the past couple of weeks.  After the 21-miler to North Berwick 2 weeks back, my lower back and pelvis/hips seized up and I started getting a few issues.  I had to take the next week off from running, or any exercise for that matter.

Shona was working the following weekend, so I wasn't able to do a weekend long run but I had planned to do 12-14 miles on the Monday.  It didn't feel like a good idea, so I gave it a miss.  Went to the gym and just did 30 minutes on the stationary bike.  (Although I did crank through the gears to make it pretty challenging!)  I cycled to and from work on Wednesday, and managed a 3-mile run on Friday evening.  Not 100% comfortable, but no major issues either.

Then, yesterday (Sunday) was supposed to be the last weekend long run before the main event on Sunday.  Met a few Portobello RC colleagues and the plan was to run 10 miles.  My hip/pelvis was feeling a bit strange on the right side, but nothing too painful.  However, within the first couple of miles it gave way two or three times.  Difficult thing to describe - not painful, my leg just gave way at the hip when my foot struck the ground.  And although not painful, not a pleasant feeling either!  So I cut the run short and just did 6 miles in total.

I didn't actually have any major problems on the way back, but it just isn't that enjoyable running when you have this fear in your mind that something might happen.  And it's still not quite right today.

The training for this marathon has had some major ups and downs.  Some days I remember that there were points over the winter where I feared I might not be able to do distance running any more.  And there have been weeks where I was amazed because of what I'd managed to achieve.

I don't know how I'll feel on race day - whether I'll be delighted to have made it to the start line, relieved that I'll be able to take a break afterwards, or just nervous about what the next 26.2 miles will be like - whether I'll be able to run it all or whether injury will strike after a few miles and I'll just have to run/walk the rest as best I can.  The injury troubles have really sapped my confidence and although I'll never say never, I'm pretty sure at this stage that this will be my last marathon.

It's possible that if I take a year or two out my body will recover completely and I'll be able to slowly rebuild my fitness and my confidence so that I'm ready to try and do it again.  But at this stage, it's just been too much of a chore!  I'm extremely grateful I've been able to do the 6 marathons I've done already, and I'm looking forward to doing my first one overseas in Berlin.  More than that, I've raised over £5000 for charity through running marathons (about £6,500 if you include Gift Aid), and that's not to be sniffed at.

I'm not one of these small, skinny types though and my body seems to have decided it's had a good run but it's not such a big fan of these long distance road races! I can't pretend it's easy to balance training, work and the needs of my young family (including Zoe's hopefully promising sporting career!!) either.  So I shall have to be more creative with fundraising, and my fitness, in future I think.

Anyway, sorry for a slightly self-pitying blog post.  I'm actually not downhearted. A good thing to quit on my own terms I think, rather than what it might have been a year or so ago.  Here's hoping my chiropractor can work some magic this week to make it as comfortable as possible for me on Sunday and I'm determined to do my best to enjoy the whole occasion as much as I can either way.  I'll have bloody well earned that medal anyway!!  And a currywurst and a wheat beer to follow I think...